The Passionate Parsley: January 2017

Pep Talk for the Working Mama

To the mama heavy with guilt.

To the mama who is sitting in her office choking back the tears.

To the mama who literally feels her heart breaking.

To the mama who is questioning her motivations.

To the mama who feels like the day couldn't move any slower.

To the mama who hasn't seen her baby since yesterday.

To the mama who works outside the home and hears, "it gets easier with time," but it hasn't.

Remember.

Remember you work to provide for that baby you're missing so badly.

Remember you are fortunate to have a job when many do not.

Remember that work is an opportunity to share your talents with the world.

Remember that work keeps you in the game career-wise and connected to the larger world.

Remember that you are providing a positive role model.

Remember each work day ends with an all encompassing bear hug — the best part.

Mama, when you're feeling the guilt overcome, remember hard days don't mean bad days. You can do hard things, because you're doing it for the ones you love. Today while at work, remember there is an end to every day. You are not the first mama to need a little reassurance and reminder that you can do what seems impossible. Maybe work isn't always where you want to be, but it is a push and pull. You are strong and smart. Be fully present, whether you are at work or at home.

At the end of the day...

At the end of the day, when it's all said and done, magically all the hard frustrations melt away. Past the dinnertime food throwing and not actually eating and the purposeful milk spilling. After all the defiant "no's" have been said, we march up the creaky, well-worn wooden staircase to his bedroom.

A small lamp on the bookcase dimly illuminates the room. I help my wiggly boy change into his pjs and we cuddle in soft and deep. Books stacked beside us as we turn the pages together — symbolic of the pages of our lives — quickly turning and passing. We read about the cow jumping over the moon and snowy owl wings among other things. Prayers are said. Songs are sung. Meanwhile my boy clings tightly around my neck and presses close for our cheeks to touch.

I linger, smell his sweet baby shampoo scent and listen to his precious toddler voice. He tells me of his plans for the following day and I become teary-eyed. His scary, life-threatening birth story flashes through my consciousness, and I find myself so thankful and blessed — the very best way to end the day. Heart so very, very full.

Created to Create

photo source

There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age. — Sophia Loren

I have this desire to create. It is innate in me — it's who I am. As long as I can remember, I've created.

As a small child, I played hours with play-doh and colored every time I could get my hands on crayons and markers.

In middle school I scrapbooked.

In high school I made all my own jewelry.

When I graduated high school early, I landed a design position at a small company.

In college I studied art, was the curator for my University's art gallery, then graduated with a Bachelors in Photography.

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At the beginning of my college career, the professors gathered the new art students in the small prayer chapel for a moment I'll never forget. The professors spoke words that permeated my heart and impacted the entire way I viewed the creative profession — to this day. Their words reminded me that I was made in God's image, the original Creator. As an image bearer, I have been given the gift of creativity and have been called to continue the creation story. Each student in the prayer chapel that day was gathered to have their hands blessed. I won't forget as my hands were anointed and prayed over — I have been commissioned to create.

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On my last summer break of college, I showed a collection of my photographs in a Chicago Arts District gallery — and even sold a few pieces.

After being proposed to, I planned every detail our wedding and handmade hundreds of detailed paper flowers for the big event — held in an art gallery.

After we were married I decorated our first apartment.

Those early years of marriage, I carried my camera everywhere, blogged and fell deeply and madly in love of the art of food.

Enter now: wife, mama, and career. I've viewed my life the last few years as simply full. Too full to have any time for creativity — and just plain tired. But perhaps I am worn out because my creative heartbeat is being muffled. Creative endeavors energize me and in 2017 I am going to carve out the time and space to dip my toes back into my creative roots. Because creativity is the constant thread that is woven throughout my life, how could I simply abandon that now?

I was born with a hunger to experience and create beauty — this is not a coincidence. Throughout my growing-up years I created without thought, unrestricted — it was simply what I did. And I know that gift is still inside me. So give me a shovel 2017, I need to start digging back to my creative place. I want find my creative spark in everyday activities again. I want more than a functional life, I want to be fully aware of this beautiful life. So I'm finding my way back to do my job and keep showing up even when it is hard, and even when I am tired.